What You Seek is Seeking You

On manifestation, love for others, and love of self.

Take a moment and think about something you manifested into your life… I can think of several off the top of my head. I manifested attending my dream school, Parsons School of Design, by envisioning myself going there. I did not apply to any other schools. I just knew I would go there no matter what. Even if there was a roadblock, I would find my way there. I put in the work necessary, put it out into the universe, and the universe delivered. I manifested my 30th birthday watch, my current apartment, my career… so many things. And I’m confident you’ve manifested many things, too.

At the core of manifesting, you’ve got to ask, believe, and receive.

• Get clear on your goals and desires

• Visualize it in detail, as though you already have it

• Ask the universe for it (they are always listening)

• Say or write positive affirmations in the present tense

  • I like to write it on post-it notes and leave it by the mirror

• Create

  • Vision Board - look for images that capture what you’re trying to manifest

  • Manifestation journal - fill it with words, descriptions, and images of big and small things you desire in your life

• Let go and trust the process

I recently read an affirmation: the love you seek is seeking you. It sent me into a spiral of thought. When I was younger, I needed to feel loved by my significant other in order to believe I was worthy. As I got older and wiser, I realized I had it backwards… Ahhh, no wonder I keep ending up with men who have me questioning my worth! I would pour all my love into them only to feel like it was never enough and therefore I was not enough. When I realized that that belief system no longer served me, I let it go over and over again. Every time I found myself attaching to it, my awareness would heighten, I’d acknowledge this patterns’ presence in my mind and remind myself that it is just my fear and my ego. I would meditate on it and say to it, I see that this fear is trying to protect me but it no longer serves me. I am loved and I am worthy no matter what. I release you into the universe with love and light.

Any time you feel something negative, this is a powerful and effective meditation to release and allow this dark and negatively charged emotion or belief to be recycled into something positive.

So in my twenties I would have perceived that affirmation as, “the relationship you seek is seeking you”. But now, I perceive it as, "the love you seek has been with you all this time”. The love I’ve been longing for my whole adult life is not something solely outside of me. It is with me. It is within me. It is a boundless, never-ending, unconditional, all encompassing love. We all have this love within us. We just need to remember that it is always there. When you’re feeling low or doubting yourself, stop and remind yourself you are loved and worthy no matter what.

When it comes to dating and relationships, it is very important to know what it means to love yourself... and to do it! I don’t mean to be selfish and put yourself first all the time. What I mean is to completely accept yourself and to love yourself enough to pour into the parts of you that need it most. The parts that are struggling. The parts that feel small and unimportant. The inner child that hasn’t gotten much attention. The parts that don’t feel good enough. Love yourself enough to want to do the work.

Any insecurities or fears will project and manifest itself into your relationship. I see it everywhere; in my own previous relationships and even in my marriage early on. We brought in some baggage that needed quite a bit of unpacking. I see it in many other relationships, too. It would be so great to work on this before getting married and settling down but everyone’s lives moves at different paces. Inevitably, we are going to go into a relationship with insecurities and fears. That’s ok! Sometimes relationships catalyze the healing process. Sometimes that is what it takes to see ourselves more clearly - having someone you love put a mirror to your soul. Then you either grow together or grow apart. And that is ok too.

With love,

Linh